Repressed Emotions
by Arianne195
Summary: Can Misaki express his true feelings? Or will those three little words get the better of him?
1. Chapter 1

Misaki slowly awoke from a dreamless sleep, unusually peaceful, yet familiar... Usagi's toned and muscular arm lay collapsed across Misaki's chest, reminding him of exactly what had happened last night...

Holding his cold hands towards his cheeks to soothe the redness that had been a result of his own memories, he glanced at his watch. "Crap" He gasped in the quietest whisper he could manage. It was 7 exactly, not only was Usagi due to be up any second,(and Misaki did not want to hang around for that) his Literature class started in one hour AND he needed to make breakfast! He gently raised Usagi's arm and moved from beneath it. While slipping out the door being sure not to make a sound, his lover rolled and let out a loud "Arrfhfhfhfgg" but returns to sleep peacefully and perfectly - Misaki continues to escape form his lustful boudoir, but he cant help but steal a moment of bliss. Simply watching him.

He makes his way to the kitchen, while hurriedly making breakfast, the door opens. Usagi's long, deathly face appears... "You'll be late" He calls in his 'gentlest' morning voice. "This is your fault BAKA" he retaliates, waving his chopsticks in the air. He realized that was a mistake just moments before Usagi's icy lavender eyes focus directly on him, like a hawk upon its prey...

While Usagi's arms tightly gripped Misaki's shoulders, his arms flailed "Its going to burn. Do you like burned egg? Do you?" It was pointless, over the past few months Usagi had realized just how well his lover could multi-task. As his large hands stroked his petite frame all over, Misaki managed to plate up the food and entertain Usagi at the same time.

They sat. They ate, for a few moments they were like any other household.

"I'M GOING TO BE LATE" exclaimed Misaki as he exited the house.

"I love you" called out Usagi after his lovers exit._ Maybe he didn't hear me._ Usagi's disappointment showed.

As the tall, handsome man relaxed deeply into the sofa cushions he wondered about his lover's true intentions... _does he love me?_ His insecure thoughts were to much to handle; he retired to the 'small' study. Of-course it was a spacious room with storage compartments, a large desk, a computer, office chair AND two spear futons stacked in the corner. Usagi had obviously lead a more privileged life than Misaki, who often commented on its size.

Usagi hunched over the large wooden desk and withdrew a pen, and released his thoughts of pure sin on paper.

_Misaki's lustful eyes opened as he awoke. While Usagi was still sleeping, his lover's desires overwhelmed any morel instinct he had. His gentle feminine hands caressed his skin, softly arousing the sleeping man's body. His chest constricted with pleasure, before he had even woken fully. Usagi's cool hand ruffled the enthusiastic boys hair. Before he had time to blink Misaki had launched with all his weight on top of him. His delicate slender body pressed as close to his lover as physically possible. Pressing his lips firmly upon his, their tongues met and danced with each other as pure electrical wave ran though them. Usagi's strong muscled arms rolled them over so he could be in control; pushing himself close to Misaki's naked body..._

Before he could even decide to addit to his large repertoire of BL novels his face came to rest on his hand, he fell fast, into sweet, undisturbable sleep.

"I'm home" Misaki's voice resounded throughout the unbelievably large apartment.

Usagi shuffled together his scraps of paper and returned to his sleeping position.

The young boy, slightly confused by the silence, began to approach the study, without thinking he lunged into the room. Suddenly, a thought (he wished he'd had it just 30 seconds before) popped into his head _When Usagi is working, he is always in a foul mood..._ Not being able to rewind, he held his breath as he continued the motion.

Once the door was completely open, Misaki was shocked to find Usagi's sleeping figure in the chair sprawled across the desk. He hadn't even woken from the light which was cast in from the door. _Why on earth has he closed the curtains?_ Misaki thought, while he was contemplating whether to wake him up - but decided (for his own safety) not to. He pulled down a pink blanket from the shelf, it was patterned with Suzuki bear heads... and it was also Usagi's favourite.

As Misaki stretched his arms wide around the hard-working authors body... The beast that lay in wait... Pounced.

In a matter of seconds, Misaki was on the floor, pinned underneath his lover. "I love you" Usagi said, staring deep into Misaki's beautiful emerald eyes. "No you don't!" retaliated his young lover, with so much force and determination that Usagi became immobile. He picked himself up, opened the door and left. Misaki followed soon after, however Usagi was nowhere to be seen...It didn't take him long to realise that Usagi had gone to his room. To sulk.

Misaki got strait into his choirs, brought in the washing that had been drying out on the balcony, changed Suzuki's bow and began to make dinner. Misaki's amazing cooking ability meant that within an hour the food was ready, everything looked fabulous and was presented on the table as a perfect, traditional, Japanese dinner.

He checked the clock that was high on the wall - 6:00... He checked it again 6:00... and for the third time 6:01. Usagi should have been down, he promised on the day he welcomed him in, that they would eat together, every evening. It may have only been for Onii-Chan's peace of mind, but it was a promise none the less.

"USAGIIII" His voice was angry. A handsome yet sad face appeared around the corner of his bedroom door, "Dinner." Usagi had never heard Misaki's voice so cold. This was colder, angrier and harsher, than he had ever heard before. And it scared him.

Silence echoed around the spacious dining area. "Look..."

He took a deep breath and suppressed his tears.

"It was a promise you made to Onii-san. I shouldn't have to remind you" Misaki snapped. He was obviously upset, but Usagi had been preoccupied with his own worries.

"I love you and wouldn't miss dinner with you for anything" Misaki blushed but could not falter now. "Why were you late?"

"At some time you have got to tell me?" He protested, His large Icy eyes transfixed upon Misaki's.

To this Misaki simply looked puzzled. "I love you Misaki" Usagi repeated.

"Usagi... I... Lo.. Like you a lot. But I've never been in love"

Usagi looked to the ceiling and smiled thank goodness.

Usagi Stood up trying to look less over the moon then he actually was. As little Usagi's did cartwheels in his head. He circled the table clockwise, knelt behind Misaki's chair and rested his chin on his lovers thin slender shoulder. Misaki laughed nervously and contemplated getting up, but decided against it as Usagi looked... Happy, relieved and... Handsome, very handsome.

What came next slightly surprised Misaki. "I love you. I will tell you this every single day, until you are ready to accept your feelings." and with that Usagi closed his lavender eyes and kissed Misaki's cheek. His lips were warm soft and tender on his face, it reminded him of all the things Usagi did for him, how much he cared for him and how loving this man could really be. "I... Think... I could maybe, possibly... Be... In love with you too Usagi-san"


	2. Chapter 2

Misaki entered the spacious penthouse and collapsed onto the plush sofa. He was alone._ Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely,_ he thought as he stared all around the open plan room, glancing into the kitchen, up through all the open doors, and realised not even Suzuki was in the apartment. Panic struck Misaki like a dagger to the heart. _Where is he? Where's Suzuki? Did he abandon me and take Suzuki with him?_

He burst into tears and ran into Usagi's room, he curled up into a ball on his lovers bed. He encased himself in Usagi's sheets, pillows and dressing gown, and cried. He could smell the strong sent of his lovers cigarettes, his soap and himself. Transferred to him when he had tightly embraced Misaki, that morning.

As the doorbell rang, Misaki wiped his teary eyes And sluggishly trudged to the door. It was Aikawa... She could sense Misaki's distress and asked him 'what's up chicken?' Misaki's tear stricken face spoke louder than his muffled words of "it's nothing".

"Hmmm. He took Suzuki already...? I presumed he'd come back for his things. And give you an explanation, what a Baka."

Tears streamed down his face faster that wild rapids. At that point Aikawa realised the damage she caused...

"Oh sweetie pie! Pack your things, we're going on holiday" Misaki sat and cried. The only time he had remembered a feeling worse was when he was 10, and his parents had died in a car accident. It was as if Usagi had died today. His heart was incomplete, broken.

Aikawa couldn't take it any more...

"Did he not leave you a note?"

Misaki cried even harder, if that was even physically possible.

"I can only imagine what you THINK has happened... But it really isn't like that!" "It... He... Isn't here!"

"Oh for crying out loud. He's on holiday, and we are going to miss our flight if you don't stop whimpering and get into my car with the pre packed suitcase on your bed!"

Misaki stared blankly into the air surrounding his bedroom door. He didn't look at it, not quite, but through it... He rose, ran to the room, and just like she said; the suitcase was there pre packed, ready for him.

The wind wooshed in through the blue Ferrari window, it was familiar. His mind flooded with memories of last minute 100MPH rushes to school because somebody slept in or ran out of 'nourishment'. His eyes filled once again, but he held back the urge to release his vivid emotion.

All through the flight Misaki skilled to himself sweetly and waited for what felt like hours. "we are now hovering over Chiba and will be landing shortly" If silence was a feeling, it would be pain. It was painful to drive in silence, it was painful to walk in silence and it was painful to be silent.

They ascended the stairs with torturous soundless footsteps. Misaki's eyes were leaking, he wasn't crying because that meant he had to it acknowledge it. And he didn't. As he opened thedoor he imagined Usagi's smiling face, then like magic, he say Usagi's face; but he wasn't smiling.  
>Misaki Ran and jumped onto his lover as if he was about to fly away with out him.<p>

"Misaki whats this all about..? Are you really that happy to be going on holiday?"

"Don't leave me. I love you, I really do"

Usagi's face contorted from a joyful surprise to his disbelief that Misaki just said those words so easily. But his face also showed pain from wondering how Misaki could ever think those words.

"What's gotten into you? Why do you think I'd ever leave you?"

Misaki's sniffles made his lover feel extremely guilty. "You were gone. You took Suzuki. You didn't tell me"

Usagi's face went from strait and solemn and burst into a broad smile, "I suppose you weren't hungry when you got in"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Misaki's voice was as confused as his face, he pulled away from Usagi's tight grip.

"I left you a note. It was stuck on the fridge"

Misaki felt completely idiotic and stupid, just unbelievably embarrassed. His face turned that special shade of crimson that only Usagi could produce.

He leapt into the tall, smiling mans arms and with an amazing amount emotion caged in his body, fighting to escape he kissed the man so pasionatly that they both turned bubble-gum pink in the cheeks.

As Aikawa tried to escape with out being noticed. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, AIKAWA."

"he he ha" she laughed nervously.

"How could you let him believe that I was leaving him? Even just for a second!" She looked nervous but said nothing and smiled.

"No more BL novels for 3 months."

"But..."

Usagi gave her thee look of death and she left them in peace.

"Tell me again." said Usagi as he seductively blinked his lavender eyes at his young lover.

"Errmm, and what would that be?" Misaki's emerald eyes shined brighter than the blue of the ocean, his face was perfect.

Usagi embraced his lover and kissed him, carrying him into the bedroom and closed the door, from prying eyes. Where he would make love to Misaki until the morning light would rise from beneath the ocean view.


	3. Chapter 3

As the two men sat on the sofa, Usagi's hands wandered... His left hand came to rest on Misaki's slender thigh. The teen, in his usual scatter-brain manner, shouted "I BETTER GO MAKE SOME DINNER"  
>Of-course it wasn't something that needed to be shouted, but Misaki's nerves get the better of him as he let out a nervous laugh<br>"It's 4 o'clock..."  
>Usagi didn't continue as if the time was explanatory enough. Misaki mumbled something under his breath and sat down on the sofa opposite where he had just been sitting. The gloomy man stared opaquely at the boy, his thoughts became apparent when a sly grin peeked across his face. He rose, turned, then sat closer to Misaki. His hand once again ventured across to Misaki's right thigh, he froze unsure what to do next, he feared for the worst and grew anxious from the authors coldness seeping through to his warm leg.<p>

The cold that could only be described as Usagi's, as it was a comforting chill. He felt his body paralysed as if Usagi's frozen hands had been caressing his sensitive body... He felt that amazing comfort which he had only had and would probably never experience with anyone else, his mind melted and so did he his body felt week as he was in bliss... His head descended slowly onto Usagi's shoulder.

As if Usagi had been brainwashed to forget his perverted ways, his head came to on top of Misaki's. The heat radiated out through his brown locks and onto Usagi's cheek, it was blissful and comfortable. The silence was broken by a small thud. Usagi had fallen asleep and his hand fell from Misaki's leg onto the sofa. Misaki smiled with a look of pure longing.

He leaned in and kissed the man passionately, so much so Usagi woke and pushed him to the ground... Misaki was a little startled, "wait!" his partner froze for a second the continued to seduce him. Kissing his neck, nibbling his ear and his tongue danced with Misaki's. The young man rose to his feet in one swift movement, before Usagi could pounce on him, Misaki dragged him to the the bedroom (not that Usagi was reluctant in fact he was rather aroused).

The toy-infested bedroom was dark, as it always was, cleverly stepping over the train set which was circling Usagi's bed like a protective barrier, he lead the older man to the bed and he crawled onto it. He had left him self wide open for Usagi to... attack.  
>Misaki steadied himself expecting it, when he felt... nothing.<p>

Usagi had to use every last drop of self restraint he had in his body, not to take his lover there and then... but he was fixated... the last time Misaki had initiated their 'entertainment' was when he had won an award- it was a "thank you" present... that hadn't gone to plan, he was to nervous. Usagi wanted... NEEDED to see how far Misaki could go.

Misaki continued crawling seductively on the bed, shaking his hips and looking over his shoulder to check Usagi was looking. Of-course the man was fixated on the boys bum which was being shaken in his face. but he managed to stay in control.

Misaki reached the pillows and flipped himself over to show his legs wide open and and his tight pants showed his exited member. He lifted his hand and with one finger used it entice Usagi towards him. Usagi wasn't going to push his luck with how far Misaki would go solo, so climbed onto the bed and to his surprise Misaki took a hold on Usagi's tie and pulled his lover on top of him.

Their kisses were passionate, long and deep within each-others mouths. Their bodies pushed against each other, sweat dripped from their foreheads and eventually they collapse completely exhausted, with their naked bodies entwined together, they slept.


End file.
